Paraguay Road Trip

Usually, I am not a fan of spending hours, much less 7 consecutive days riding in a car, but this has been a happy and memorable road trip. 

Of all our road trips back and forth to the beach or to Arkansas to see family, there are only two I remember enjoying quite as much. Before our retirement, we flew to Boston one fall.  There, we rented a car and drove all over New England on an autumn leaf-peeping journey. We packed bread, mustard, salami, chips, and fruit for in-car or roadside lunches when we found ourselves on country roads between small towns in New Hampshire, Vermont, and New York.   Stan and I are always excited about starting any vacation, but I must confess we both were a little concerned about the prospect of seven days of in-car togetherness.  We had never spent that much time together.   Little did we know that week was merely a prelude to our lives as they are today! 

I always dreamed of learning to play a musical instrument.  One year Stan gave me an electronic keyboard for Christmas, another year I got a guitar. I plunked around but I never had time to take lessons. The year of our leaf-peeping trip, Stan gave me a harmonica for Christmas. I thought the hours spent in the car each day would be a good opportunity to try to learn to play it. I practiced Home On the Range, Wildwood Flower, and On Top of Old Smokey from the lesson book for hours.  I love those old songs.

Stan endured; he loves me.  Poor guy! 

The other trip was driving from Boise, Idaho to Salt Lake City. We had been in the west visiting Weeks family cousins in California and Jeff, Stan’s brother in Boise. While visiting seldom-seen relatives was fun, wonderful, and the right thing to do, the scenery as we left Boise driving through Idaho and Utah was glorious. The landscapes were like those neither had seen before, but the surprise grandeur of Bryce Canyon and Zion National Park was an astounding, unexpected gift.  One of the things I remember best about this trip was stopping at a roadside stand in a town along the Virgen River where we bought apples from a man who had just picked them from his backyard orchard. I have never since tasted an apple so heavenly sweet and crisp.

On this Paraguay cross-country trip, we were advised to rent a 4-wheel drive vehicle. It was a nice-to-have for the “just in case,” but we found that rig wasn’t really necessary on this trip. Just like US highways and super highways at home, roads and highways between towns here are mostly great.  Some have some pretty dangerous potholes though that must be maneuvered around and the frequent application of unexpected speedbumps can and sometimes do jar the teeth.  But as Paul Harvey used to say, here’s the rest of the story . . . as you leave the highway, any highway, the adjoining road is pure red dirt.  Or as in our case, mud. 

To see Ybycuri National Park and Salto Cristal, two famous waterfall spots first on our to-see list for the first day, we had to take several of those dirt/mud roads. They were not too bad.  We were glad to have the big vehicle as a car definitely would not work here. These roads (in the truest sense of the word) were muddy and rutted.  The driving was slow but we never had to kick in the 4-wheel drive. 

Immediately after leaving the heart of the city, the scene changed.  The streets became more narrow and crowded with cars and people.  They hinted at densely populated communities with a lot of poverty.  While people we saw looked clean and groomed, mud seemed to be everywhere.  As there are no walkways or sidewalks and the small houses and stores appeared to be built directly on the ground with little or no foundation, I imagine they must struggle to keep their small dwelling or small stores mud- or dirt-free.  On laundry day, clothes hung out to dry on wire fences surrounding the yard. 

In more rural areas, cows with soft-looking hides in shades of brown and black,  stood contentedly tethered to stakes as they grazed in lush grass on the sides of the highway.  Late in the day, we watched as a designated family member un-tied the cows and herded them home.  Too smart to cross the road, groups of brightly feathered, fat “free-range” chickens scratched in the dirt and blades of grass for their meal.  Kings of the community, though, were the traffic-savvy feral dogs who roamed the roads on seemingly important missions.    

We drove on to Encarnacion. Ohhh, this place was nice but it would have been more so had the weather been a bit better.    While the rain had stopped, the day was cold, damp, and gloomy.  As we entered the city we could see the white skyline of a large city on the opposite side of the river.  We quickly realized the city is Pasados, Argentina!  With nothing pressing on our agenda, we decided to make a quick visit there as the borders are open.    As much as those kind people wanted to let us in, another of our great plans was thwarted; we had to make a U-turn on the bridge because rental cars from Paraguay are not allowed into Argentina.  They can cross the border from Paraguay to Brazil but not Argentina.   

On day 2, we woke to steady rain. Our plans were thwarted.  Hiking Cerro Akati for its spectacular view and admiring at Cerro Tres Kandu, the tallest point in Paraguay was impossible. Even with a 4-wheel drive SUV, the steep, muddy, rutted dirt roads were too treacherous! Same for day 3. Phooey! 

Online information says we’d need to spend two days in Encarnacion to see the sights.  Because the weather was cloudy and damp, we didn’t do a walking tour.  Instead, we drove from place to place, took our photos, and knocked out Encarnacion in a matter of hours.  We did not miss a thing, not that there was an overwhelming amount to see.    We had dinner on the beach.  Yes, Encarnacion has a broad golden natural sand beach that extends as far as one can see up and down the Rio Parana.  

Next stop was Ciudad del Este . .  . Just as it says, it’s the city to the east.  The route between Encarnacion and Ciudad changed my whole perspective of Paraguay.  The landscape in this part of the country is mostly farmed by big corporations. The perfectly tended fields are vast on hills that roll gently like the swaying hips of a woman in a slow dance.  The colors along the road and far out to the horizon were spectacular, especially when the sun’s rays peeked through a parting in the clouds to spotlight a field of dry corn stalks posed against brilliant green, baby winter wheat sprouts. 

 While this land is gorgeous, the story of its coming about is sad but is one often played out around the world.  Corporations seeking to expand their operations go to the country offering peasants what they perceive as riches for their land. . .  it is an astounding amount of money . . . more money than they’ve ever seen or heard of.  The family leaves the farm and their country life and moves to the city only to find they have no skills and no work. 

En route to Ciudad del Este, we visited the La Santisima de Trinidad and nearby the Jesuit Missions runis two early monasteries in Guanas communities that existed between 1609 and 1818.  We met a dog at La Santisima sleeping on the path.  He looked healthy and well-loved.  As I spoke to him, he patted his tail on the earth and looked up at me with his big brown dog eyes.  He approved of us and became our friend.  He followed us around the grounds.  Because we see so many feral dogs that appear to need food, Stan bought a bag of dog food a few days ago to have on hand. We take some everywhere we go.  This healthy dog did not need a meal but we couldn’t just abandon him there after he had adopted us as his own.  We gave him a healthy handful of nuggets as a treat and guiltily drove away.  I peeked back as we headed down the road, he was looking longingly our way.  Waaaay! 

We came to this eastern part of Paraguay to visit the Itaipu Dam and to shop.  When completed in 1984, Itaipu was the largest hydroelectric dam in the world, but China has the largest and second-largest today.  This magnificent engineering and construction marvel sits on the Parana River between the border of Paraguay and Brazil.   Its capacity and production stats are mind-boggling but a bit boring.   I’ll only say that Itaipu produces an enormous amount of energy, providing 90% of Paraguay’s electric energy and 10% of Brazil’s.  Twice as long as the Golden Gate Bridge and as tall as a 60-story building, the dam is quite impressive but even more awesome is that the project was a joint effort between two countries, Paraguay and Brazil.  Imagine that today.   

Ciudad del Este is the biggest and most important shopping mecca in South America.  Said to have great prices on high-end goods, alcohol, and electronics, visitors to Paraguay are encouraged to visit the city to shop, and Brazilians regularly cross the Friendship Bridge to take advantage of the cheap prices there.   

Wow!  Stan and I envisioned buying a whole new wardrobe and who knows what else!   We chose to visit one of the larger, fancier malls, “Shopping Paris.”   

Even in this upscale, multi-level mall, we found shopping overwhelming, intimidating, and rigged.  None of the clothing stores appealed to us and the prices were not impressive at all but I needed a new electrical plug for my portable multi-device charging device.  In the USA, the plug might cost $5 at an off-price store or even as much as $15-$20 at an Apple or AT&T store.  Not here; the first store we visited wanted $30 for the plug. They thought we could not read it but the tag on the box read $18,000 Guanas (about $3.00 American). When the clerks took a look at us stoopid tourists, the price automatically translated to $30 USD.  We tried other stores in the mall, but like shopping in markets in Mexico or Turkey where all the goods are the same in each and every store, we finally surmised that one guy probably owns all of them . . . in this case, all the portable electronics stores.  The clerks in these shops are the guy’s employees who follow the same procedures. 

In one store the clerks unbelievably reduced the price to $13 for us. Wow, that was a much better price than $30 but hey, the item is worth no more than $5.  I am learning Spanish.  I said, “No!  Eso es muy caro!”  They laughed, maybe as if to say, “you caught on to us.” 

We finally broke down and bought a plug at another place for $8 . . . far too much but we were sick of the game and now my charging station works again. 

We are lucky, indeed lucky to be alive.  Driving in Ciudad del Estes is looney, outrageous, ridiculous, and dangerous.  It is beyond accurate description.  There seem to be no street rules, cars go this way and that, and often men are out in the street alongside lanes of cars hawking stuff like oranges in a bag, home-baked chipas stacked on a large round tray balanced on their heads, charging cables and dashboard-holders for phones, and as on the wet, rainy day we were there, windshield wiper blades.  Each of these wiper guys walks around waving a handful of wiggly wiper blades.  In the other hand is a palmed piece of plastic that might resemble a wiper part.  Wide-eyed and appearing to be shocked, they hold up the part and exclaim that your wipers are broken as evidenced by the part “found on your car.”  It is hard to get them to accept your “no.” These guys are relentless.  

Thank you, God, for keeping us from hitting one of these guys, hitting another car, or smashing one of the many motorcycles that fearlessly disregard stop lights and weave in and out of cars forming extra lanes of traffic.   

I could not wait to get out of there.  I still shudder thinking about it.  Thank God, Stan is an excellent driver!  But even he was a bit shaken by it all. 

It was a whirlwind trip with 14 stops and 6 overnights.  But, check! Imagine cutting peanut-shaped Paraguay in half in the middle. We have seen all of the southern half, west to east, and return. This trip was so good, though, that we may rent a car again to see the Cerros we missed due to the rain plus venture into the northern sector to visit Chaco. As Stan says, “What else you gotta do?”

Okay, just three more things.  

One, we made it home to our sweet little apartment in Asuncion on day six.  We slept like babies, safe and sound in what we have come to call our own comfy bed. 

Two, the hotels we booked on this trip were wonderful.  Each was a boutique-style hotel with super friendly staff, gorgeous tropical grounds, a pool, and free breakfast.  We rested well in each one.  We watched the Paraguayan version of Wheel of Fortune on TV to get drowsy each night and to try to pick up new Spanish words. 

Three, all we had to do on day seven was return the rental car.  No problem!  Except as Stan made a turn on a busy street, a police officer on a motorcycle flashed his blue lights and pulled us over.  Oh crap! 

We saw it coming . . . Stan got out his driver’s license.  I pulled out all the rental car documents.  I’m not going into all the details but we got caught in a fairly well-known motorcycle police scam here. The officer indicates (in Spanish, mind you) that you made a minor traffic infraction, like turning right on a red light.  Then he says you owe a fine . . . $300!!!!  The motorcycle cop says it must be paid in cash immediately or the car will be impounded.  We argued but in a respectful manner.  We surely did not want to be thrown in jail.  But these guys do not give up.  He kept saying 300 US dollars in cash.   

 Similar stories I found online say these dirty cops do not give up until you show them an empty wallet.  I had a lot of Paraguayan bills in my wallet but only 45 in US$.  Thank goodness, Stan did not open his billfold.  That’s what they want . . cash in US dollars.  At some point in our cracked-up crazy conversation, he said something about a donation for the poor.  I knew then this was a crazy scam.  My anger flared. He was not a big man.  I know I could have taken him.  I was just that mad!   Steamed!!   But he had an automatic weapon strapped to his body—you gotta respect that.  We ended up giving him the $45 just to get free and in reality, we probably got off light. He underhanded the cash and had Stan make a fake signature on a fake ticket.  I wish that all I had in my wallet at that time was just a $5 bill.  He probably would have been happy with that.  Donation for the poor, my foot!  Donation for him. 

While we are enjoying this place and learning about it, the good with the bad, we are reminded again, that this is South America.